Going Nuts...more

[schmoomom]

I'm going through a bit of what I felt in December and January, that started my whole thing. And that scares the shit out of me. I want to just be fucking normal, you know?

I need to get away, but I don't want to go anywhere.

I saw an old friend yesterday at Home Despot. It was weird. And...I don't know. He asked what I was doing, and I said I gave up my career when we moved to IE, cause it was hard to get into there. And now I'm just with P all day.

Then I saw Pierce Brosnan on tv this morning, and I know that I could work on one of his films. I know I could. I have enough connections. But then B can't work, cause P would need looking after. and I can only work on films in Ireland, cause I don't want to be alone in LA. And that just feels wrong to do to B. But seeing him on TV made me think how much I've given up. I had finally found something that fit, and now I can't do it.

Comments

[custard-kisses.livejournal.com]

Could you not put P in part time day care if you got a job, or get a nanny? Why is it you can only do film work in Ireland again, I remember you saying but I forget.

One of my close friends is from Bray outside of Dublin and one of the girls she went to school with in in the Irish film industry, she was in the Commitments and Father Ted (guest roll). Maria Doyle is her name.

[schmoomom.livejournal.com]

I think that putting him in day care or getting a nanny would negate the salary I'd be getting. I'd be starting pretty low on the totem pole, and making crap money. And I'd feel horrible for doing it. I don't know why, but when we had a minder for him a few days a week, I felt like I wasn't taking care of him properly and was wussing out or something...you know?

[mollyf.livejournal.com]

(((Elana))) I don't know too much about the ins and outs of your line of work, but it seems like it must be the 25/8 kind of career.

I went to a party with some of my old coworkers a few weeks ago. A couple of women make remarks like, "So you just sit home with the kid?" and "I can't imagine not working." Made me feel weird.

But then B can't work, cause P would need looking after.

Just curious--these options, I realise, would not work for many families for one reason or another but I don't know your situation: have you looked into finding a full time nanny? What about daycare?

[schmoomom.livejournal.com]

See note to A above :-).

It is hard not working, but I wasn't working, really, before P so it wasn't a big deal. But I was able to do what I wanted, when I wanted. Now that's flown out the window. Maybe I just regret that I don't have the freedom I once did?