Going Nuts...more

[schmoomom]

I'm going through a bit of what I felt in December and January, that started my whole thing. And that scares the shit out of me. I want to just be fucking normal, you know?

I need to get away, but I don't want to go anywhere.

I saw an old friend yesterday at Home Despot. It was weird. And...I don't know. He asked what I was doing, and I said I gave up my career when we moved to IE, cause it was hard to get into there. And now I'm just with P all day.

Then I saw Pierce Brosnan on tv this morning, and I know that I could work on one of his films. I know I could. I have enough connections. But then B can't work, cause P would need looking after. and I can only work on films in Ireland, cause I don't want to be alone in LA. And that just feels wrong to do to B. But seeing him on TV made me think how much I've given up. I had finally found something that fit, and now I can't do it.

Comments

[custard-kisses.livejournal.com]

Could you not put P in part time day care if you got a job, or get a nanny? Why is it you can only do film work in Ireland again, I remember you saying but I forget.

One of my close friends is from Bray outside of Dublin and one of the girls she went to school with in in the Irish film industry, she was in the Commitments and Father Ted (guest roll). Maria Doyle is her name.

[schmoomom.livejournal.com]

I think that putting him in day care or getting a nanny would negate the salary I'd be getting. I'd be starting pretty low on the totem pole, and making crap money. And I'd feel horrible for doing it. I don't know why, but when we had a minder for him a few days a week, I felt like I wasn't taking care of him properly and was wussing out or something...you know?